I think I’m pretty good at what I do for a living, but there are always ways to  improve. In a current project that I’m assigned to I’m working as a project manager. I’ll spare you the details of the project as they are rather uninteresting, but I will share one thing with you. How to elicit honest and genuine feedback from your co-workers.

The story

As a person I’m almost always looking for ways to improve my skills, be it social, communication, or anything in between. It is however not entirely trivial to get this feedback from people, or is it? How can I create a situation where my ‘subject’ will feel comfortable with telling me exactly what’s on their mind? The answer is rather simple, just ask them but be genuine and honest about your intent. I try and do what I preach. I decided to try this experiment at work.

I began with my own project manager and said I wanted to review my work, and performance so far. In the meeting I asked, that they with no hesitation or worry about ‘hurting’ me should tell me both the good and bad. I emphasised the fact that I can separate personal ‘attack’ from business. There were some good and some bad things. But, when I think about it there really only were  good things. The bad aren’t really bad, they are possibilities to change and improve. After all the purpose of this experiment was for me to learn more about myself. I did the same thing with someone that works in my project. The same thing, there were some good and some bad things.

The intention

One of my original goals with this was to establish more trust. Without trust very little can be achieved. I generally tend to, from the outset of any social contract, decide to trust the person I’m meeting or talking with. I guess to some extent this might be a naive and foolish thing to do, but honestly I feel it’s served me well. Why shouldn’t I? Surely it’s must not be better to distrust a person that I’ve never met? No, I’d much rather immediately trust the person and then let them decide what to do with that implicitly given trust. Of course, they’re not aware of it, but maybe it can be felt, I don’t know.

The results

The great thing about this little experiment was the outcome. Those asked almost seemed relieved to be able to freely speak their mind. I’m sure that they probably held back on some things, me being a crazy nuts and gojiberry eating vegan, but still, they did seem to speak their mind. What I find particularly interesting is that I was actually already aware of the things they mentioned. Oh, and I also didn’t bother trying to make excuses about the bad, but rather just acknowledged what they were saying.

Hopefully more trust was indeed built and by continually asking for feedback perhaps it can only get better? If someone asked me, what I myself have asked them, I think I would have more respect for that person. It shows that the person is not afraid of their potential vulnerabilities and also willing to expose those vulnerabilities. Granted, it’s difficult to be entirely objective in this regard because after all, I did ask these questions from a selfish perspective.

So, concluding, are you asking for it?

Early riser

Tuesday 1st marked the end of my first ever attempted 30-day trial. It was beyond successful, the results were absolutely amazing and nothing but fantastic. I’m really pleased with the outcome and will share with you what I did, results and consequences.

On the 1st of August I decided to become an early riser. Mostly i twas driven by curiousity and whether it would change anything, and if it did, what would change? For as long as I can remember I have claimed to always be creative at night. This trial proved to me that I don’t know myself quite as well as I thought. Rising early has changed everything.

The experiment

For a long time I had wanted to try early rising, but each time I tried I failed miserably. Clearly I thought to myself, I’m not meant to rise early and should keep getting up mere seconds before I have to run to the car and drive to work. In retrospect I cannot believe how wrong this assumption was. This trial would have to be different and it began when I stumbled upon Steve Pavlina and his fantastic web-site with tons of inspiring articles. One of these were about early rising.

There was no magic to his trickery, but his general success in life inspired me to take charge of my own future and life. I decided to rise at 5:00 am every morning, no matter what day in the week it was. Each day, 5:00 am, no exceptions. I thought this would be super tough considering my previously failed attempts. However, it turned out to be easier than I thought. But, how come that it worked this time?

The explanation

I think the biggest difference between this attempt and previous attempts were my mental attitude. Before I had just decided to rise early because it was, well, what others did and surely then it must be a good thing. I didn’t do it because I wanted to, I did it because others wanted me to (in some sort of twisted inverted logic.). This time my attitude was very different.

I had become more and more annoyed with having to rise only to immediately commute to work. Now I decided to rise in order to spend time doing things I wanted to, and hence get out of bed because I wanted to, not because I had to. This made all the difference. I believe that rising early has to be given a purpose, otherwise it’s meaningless. I used my new routine to establish a couple of new habits.

The habits

Rising early surely can be considered a habit in itself, but I wanted to not just become an early riser, but rather an early doer. The first thing I decided to incorporate into my early doer routine is to go for a long walk in the morning in an attempt to kind of jump-start my body and energy. Before going out I generally grab a piece of fruit (grapefruit, or orange) just to get the body working. After the walk I do a very simple “Salutation to the Sun” yoga set of movements. All in all it takes me no more than 60 minutes, but makes all the difference to my mental and physical state.

These simple habits have now become part of my daily life, and I do it without hesitation and it feels completely natural.

The experience

Misty morning

I must admit that there have been days when the bed have been especially inviting, and I have succumbed to the temptation twice. Once a whole 15 extra minutes was spent in bed *GASP*. Another time 2 hours, but those really were justified. Having spent a Friday night at a conference place, shared room with one HEAVY snorer… I got NO sleep at all. I felt that spending two extra hours sleeping between Saturday and Sunday was justified.

While I certainly dont spring out of bed as if I had just won the lottery, I find it no more difficult to get up at 5:00 (actually I get up at 4:45, but whatever) than to get up at for example 7:00 am. The good thing is that it takes me only a few minutes to become fully awake and after finshing the walk I’m definitely awake.

The experience has been nothing but a catalyst for all sorts of things that I never intended for to happen. I’m much more active with keeping the house tidy, I’m planning my days better, spending less time on reading email through out the day, but rather keeping it to one or two times a day, usually once in the morning and once in the evening. Now I’m actually trying to shift it to only the evening.

I’ve got a much better focus and seem less scatter brained. While I can’t attribute everything to the rising early trial, it certainly has managed to change my life competely.

The result

Since my first 30-day trial was such a huge success I have decided to incorporate new habits into my life through 30-day trials. The 1st of September I began doing push-ups as part of my morning routine, just after the yoga. I do as many push-ups as I can muster, wait a minute or two, then do the same thing again. The results are put into a spreadsheet in order fo rme to keep track of my progress, helps me stay motivated (or so I imagine!).

I can now proudly say that I’ve become an early riser, but more importantly an early doer and that has changed my world.

I must share something that happened to me a few weeks ago, a totally random event with no apparent reason or purpose. It’s a short story about how we choose to approach and deal with the unexpected. This is the story of the rock-paper-scissors guys.

It was in the middle of June and my family would come visit me and Johanna  to celebrate midsummer with us. It’s a traditional celebration in Sweden and generally a fantastic excuse to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol and act like there is no tomorrow. These days however I prefer a much more relaxed approach with a focus on great food and the company of loved ones. Anyways. The unexpected part.

The unexpected…

Can you see it? (by flickr/aWee)

My sister and I had agreed that we should meet at the central station as her arrival would coincide with my last day of work before the short holiday. While we waited on the platform for the train to arrive I could see in the corner of my eyes these two guys and it felt as if they were walking towards us. They did. We got mugged… no, just kidding, not at all. Without introduction or anything even remotely related to a cultural establishment of identity one of the guys ask me: Care for a game of rock-paper-scissors?

My immediate and instantaneous reaction was to raise my hand, begin the countdown. We complete three games, with a 1-2 score, I lost. His friend cheered and they left. My sister stood there in disbelief and asked, did you know these guys? No, I didn’t. I really didn’t. It became the story of the week, and I couldn’t resist sharing it.

… what the … ?

It has taken until now for me to realize what happened that day and what it really is saying about my personality. There never was the slightest of hesitation in my mind. I’ve learnt both good and bad things from this encounter. The good is that I’m generally quite accepting to unexpected events and can embrace it. The bad is that I might be a bit too trusting to the flow of life.

Okay, maybe I’m being silly in reading so much from this little story. But it feels quite tell-tell about who I am. Embracing the unexpected and seeing it as an opportunity to grow and learn surely can’t be a bad thing, right?

How do you react to the unexpected?