Starting this blog was done with the intention of documenting my journey in understanding myself and figuring out “what I’m supposed to do“. Chronologically however this blog does not signify the very beginning of my journey, for that I must go back roughly 7 years, early summer 2002. It all began with a simple question (which I’m now all too familiar with):

But where do you get your protein?

Pitted against this person who dared to question one of my most deeply rooted beliefs, diet. Well, it was actually me who questioned her choice of silly food. She was a vegetarian. Ha! Puny human, had  she not yet understood that we’re made to eat meat, blood and gore? It’s what we’ve always done. Clearly I would have her climb down her high horse in a matter of minutes. Obviously she’s wrong. Our teeth are made to eat meat. And where would she get her iron and protein from? Vegetables? Like carrots or something? Ha!

So I asked. She replied. I was confused. Who was this person? How dare she respond with logic, reasoning and worst of all, facts. I asked some more leading questions. Again she replied. But what the… ? Could she just please stop answering my questions, I’m right, she’s wrong, doesn’t she understand that? Apparently not. This continued for a while. My fellow comrades joined in on the war. Victory shall be ours. Only a matter of time…

Trying to argue about something I really didn’t know much about eventually left me with no other option but to, argh, surrender, and admit she might perhaps know a thing or two about this nutrition stuff. Nutrition? Ha, men don’t need nutr… yes, we do. For the first time in my life, I had been attacked. My very core had been attacked. I was semi-hurt. The hurt ego did however not last long.

This encounter is still what I consider my awakening. The moment where I became aware of the fact that some of my dearly held beliefs might not actually be my own.

The awakening…

Awakening (by flickr/fmc.nikon.d40)

Naturally, diet became one the first thing I began to question. What am I eating? What are the consequences? How does it affect me? How does it affect my surroundings? The environment? My fellow humans? There were so many questions I suddenly felt I needed an answer. Why had I never questioned this fundamental belief ever before, until now?

It took a little less than a year before deciding to make the switch, I stopped eating all forms of animal derived meat. This would turn out to be one of those life-changing decisions which has brought both good and bad things. The good is that it opened my eyes and I began to see the world from a different perspective, it completely changed me. The bad thing is that people are mostly completely ignorant or unwilling to understand the reasoning behind the decision. Dealing with this ignorance has been by far the toughest thing, but it has eased over the years. I’m now completely vegan, which means eating nothing which is derived from animals.

I had become aware of the fact that my actions have consequences. I had been forced to look beyond me, and see the bigger picture. I had awakened.

… what else is there to question?

For a long time very little was questioned. While the diet-decision had certainly opened my eyes, it had been quite draining on my what I thought to be superman powers, but apparently I didn’t have super powers. For many years I had to constantly defend the choice I had made and this somewhat prevented me from making progress in other areas of my life. Perhaps an excuse, but looking back and thinking about it, it’s what it feels like.

In 2007 I had finally decided that enough is enough and that my employer had to go. I quit my job. But, another job awaited me in the jungle of Costa Rica. Before starting my job as a network- and systems engineer I spent about 5 weeks on the Caribbean coast in a small town called Puerto Viejo. Spending 5 weeks doing pretty much nothing besides lying on a beach, or a hammock, eating locally made chocolate and drinking ice-cold baby coconut juice you have time to think about a lot.

What else is there? (by flickr/fontplaydotcom)

During my time there I came to the conclusion I had to break up with some old friends from school. I had begun to question what I gained from attempting to maintain some sort of connection to them. Throughout the later years it was a pretty much uni-directional form of communication. Little effort on their behalf was made to stay in touch and I had begun to resent them for it. Valuing the friendship I had had with them I decided that the proper thing to do would be to honor them by breaking up. Why not? I would break up with a girlfriend, why not a friend?

So I composed a letter (electronic) which I sent to all of them. The reactions were mixed, some expected, some unexpected. It felt strange, but somewhat liberating. I often think back at what I did, and whether or not it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I miss them. Or actually, more accurately, sometimes I miss the person I was back then. Life was easier. We drank a lot and I pretended to be someone I really wasn’t. Eventually I leave that part of me behind to give room for new experiences. Life changes.

The end

Perhaps you’re curious who this “evil” person was that set me on the path of vegetarian and eventually vegan. Her name is Johanna and has been my precious love for now 7 years. She is ultimately responsible for my awakening, and the journey upon which I have now embarked. I’m endlessly greatful for the gift she gave me that faithful day 7 1/2 years ago. Thank you Johanna for being in my life and supporting me on this journey, where ever it may take me.

Yours always, Christoffer.